Who invited the Grim Reaper? Chicken cutlets anyone?

In this, the third episode, we get a little more information about a couple of main themes this season. From fights between certain cast members to more of a history on others, this episode proved to be mentally draining at times because again we are thrown into fights to which we know no facts about.

Sometimes I find myself saying, "That (expletive) Lea is lying to us!" Thirty minutes later I’m saying the same thing about Adriana. There’s something to be said, though, for some pretty crafty editing.

Am I the only one that realizes that these editors are legit making Mean Girls (Adriana, Alexia and Marysol for those of you just tuning in) look REALLY EFFING MEAN? Again ... you need the full story so let’s start from the beginning.

The episode opened with Lea and Adriana continuing their battle from last week’s episode. This time, however, the fight was outside under an umbrella in a torrential downpour. Lea offered to get Adriana a ride home but Adriana refused to accept any more of Lea’s generosity in wake of Lea supposedly calling her names like “charity case.”

So Adriana caught a cab (Where's the driver? Limo?) in the beautiful sun shining weather. That’s Miami weather for ya, folks. It seems to mirror the relationships and trials these women experience.

After the fight Adriana goes to Frederic and says that Lea told her this and Lea called her that. Ummmm... Are we watching the same episode, Adriana? Lea said NONE of that to you... Later on, Lea is having the same conversation with the blondes, and says she was NOT able to get a word in...Ummmmm.... Are we watching the same show Lea?? Truth ladies??!!

Frederic then states that he and his lady will never support Lea Black’s events again and goes as far as to say that she should fear him... (I think he was talking about his wooden purse line coming out)

Joanna and Romain are spotted attending Maria Sharapova’s tennis match which spikes up some very awkward banter. It seems as though that the Barbie and Ken of Miami need to talk about their (lack of) sex through tennis euphemisms. Interesting approach, guys.

We hear Joanna saying things like, “Oh baby look at her aaaaasssssss,” “look at that ball getting hit back and forth"! I was waiting for Ron Jeremy to pop in on the scene singing Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

Romain then astonishes Joanna by basically telling her he’s bored with their sex life and that She needs to “spice it up like pasta,” and to “change the sauce.” Do you prefer red or white on your noodles? Ugh. Joanna, feeling belittled, replies in her confessional that she’s “done it in private jets, elevators and night clubs. (She’s) not the boring one.” Oh, lord.

In the Hochstein home, Lisa and Lenny are getting ready for bed, and in the middle of the night Lisa “wakes up” because she has to talk to Lenny about the baby-making thing. (Surprise, surprise... Bravo! cameras are there to catch it.)

Alexia- how can you not love her? She shares a story of her past and ex.... The time she spends with her sons is very entertaining! I love the bond she has with them.... Ohhhhh, back to Lisa....

I don’t mean to make light of this situation at all... I LOVE Lisa. I think she’s a very important character in the “Housewives” franchise because she’s young and beautiful but has the inability to carry a child to term. I think little girls just assume that that’s going to happen in their lives...I’m hoping for the best for you, girl!

We also learn that Lisa is planning a girl’s night and has invited Lea and Joanna to have a good time because Lenny is in Vegas. Oh, but don’t worry. Lisa assures us that she “banged Lenny out really good before he left,” so in case you were wondering... She’s got it covered! For the next five or so minutes, the word “bang” is severely overused. Everyone's getting "banged" except Joanna! Lisa also shares that when she first met her husband,“(Lenny) pounded me like a chicken cutlet.” Stay classy, girl.

Just when we thought RHOM was going to be fun, in comes the "haters" Marysol, Alexia and Adriana! They tend to tell everyone hi, except the GRIM REAPER. This seems to upset her, because she calls Roy, her hubby, crying about Adriana! Who knew Lea's tear ducts worked?

What happened???

Oh, Lisa is trying to play mediator again. I get it. Not working girl!!!! Stay cute! Things will never be the same!

Speaking of quotes, Lea called Adrianna a “con artist” blah, blah, blah! Stupid, stupid, stupid.... Ok done!

In the final couple of minutes, Joanna pulls out a piece of “evidence” (that the housewives just LOVE to carry around with themselves) about Adriana. We learned that she applied for the marriage license on November 4, 2008 but then went back to have it notarized December 8, 2008... This means that not only was Adriana married on paper but went back for the REAL thing a month later. But seriously, who cares! And why does Lea continue to play the victim? Rewind, Lea helped Adrianna from 2006-2007. Not while she was with Frederic! GET OVER IT!

Fast forward- Twitter ignites Monday night! What's better than a housewife tweeting about people who have opinions?

Lea took to twitter Monday night and posted-

So riddle me this.....you say DON'T feed the negativity, but then you retweet negative and ugly tweets about Adriana.... Double standard? Hypocrite? Oh..... And be friends with whom you want, but don't believe everything they tell you....psssst!

Call it what you want, but I'm sure this tiff is far from over!

Make sure you tune in every Monday night to watch these ladies entertain us!

8/27/2013 10:45:07 am

Lawd have mercy! Lol. That is all;)

8/28/2013 04:17:59 am

Do you not get it? She lied about not being married. No it's no ones business but she made it everyone's business by constantly saying she wasn't married and was on the prowl. Adriana lied about her conversation with Lea and no Lea didn't get a word in sideways. So Lea didn't lie. What show were you watching? Now I wonder if anything Adriana said was true? Has anyone checked out her sob story about her first husband and her saying he had a mistress or was it that he was married? She lied about hitting Joanna, and I'm no Joanna fan. Adriana is so jealous of Joanna it's pathetic to watch. She's pathetic, a liar and a whole host of other adjectives I will refrain from saying.


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